


Have a Happy Period

by greenstuff (orphan_account)



Series: You Asked for It [27]
Category: In Plain Sight
Genre: F/M, Squick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 11:04:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/greenstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike Faber shows Mary his guide for having a happy period. </p><p>prompt response from mary-marshall.livejournal.com’s post-fifth-season-commentfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have a Happy Period

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: Mary, anyone; "Have a happy period."
> 
> ***WARNING: period!squick ahoy!** 
> 
> This is 100% crack inspired by one too many drinks.

Have a Happy Period. A How-To Guide by Mike Faber.  
  
 _So you’re bleeding from your pussy. So what? Your breasts are a little swollen? Who gives a shit?  
  
Here is a secret every man knows and none of them are willing to say aloud: those swollen breasts make our pants feel too tight, and that blood? It’s called LUBE. Add in the fact that we’re pretty sure you can’t get pregnant if you’re shedding your uterine wall lining and the only thing keeping you from a  **very**  happy period is you.   
  
Don’t believe me?   
  
Next time it’s your time, walk up to any guy in any bar in America and say “It’s my time of the month.” You’ll be on your back in his pickup truck in under ten minutes…_  
  
Mary slammed her laptop shut and glared across her desk at Mike Faber’s smug face. “Jesus, Faber. You’re an even bigger jackass than I thought.”   
  
“You’re telling me you’re not completely randy the entire time?”   
  
“Of course not!” Mary lied, glowering.   
  
He stood slowly and circled her desk. “So, you wouldn’t want me to…” He leaned over her, so close she could smell his cheap aftershave. His fingers reached down and caressed her upper thighs, pushing them apart so he could press two fingers against the seam of her jeans.   
  
Against her will, Mary moved into his touch. Truth be told she’d already rubbed one out twice that day. The humiliation of getting off in a bathroom stall at work beat the hell out of suffering hours of cramps.   
  
Faber pressed a tentative kiss against her lips, keeping steady pressure against her core.   
  
Mary broke away. “Not here.” She said in a husky voice.   
  
She stood and half-dragged Faber through the office. She pushed open the women’s bathroom door and leapt at him, all tongue and teeth and hormones. Faber gave as good as he got. There was an awkward moment when he knelt before her and smelled her pussy, a blissed out look on his face, but she pulled him up and wrapped a leg around his waist and then he was inside her and she forgot about the mess and Faber’s weird menstrual fixation and focused solely on the way his body fit into hers. 

****


End file.
